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Sexuality - mess or bliss?

Human body is the tool that vital force penetrates at all times when the body is alive. There are channels or we call chakras that this life force uses to flow through. Sometimes chackras are stuffed and the energy is not flowing freely. Most common problem for chackras to close down is stress that is caused by different problems or ways of thinking, accumulated and suppressed wishes and emotions. Most commonly problems arise from fear which causes us to hide our true nature and have communication problems and shame. Fear causes our body to build up stress in some areas of our bodies and it may end up malfunctioning.

We have many powers given to us which we do not use in their full potential, or half potential, or maybe not at all.. We all have talents, there is always something in which we are very good at.

Body and sexual energy - we all have it.. the question is realizing it as a good tool and learn to use it. It is the same like with a hammer.. you might feel at some point that you are just not Handy Manny.. and call a proffecional.. but for your partner you might not want to call one.. you would want to share the intimacy and be free in it and float in the wonders of opening up... It might just really bring you to a different point of life alltogether.

The human body is like a fine tuned machine, well actually ofcource it is a great deal more then this, but basically if one part is not functioning correctly, the whole body suffers because all parts have their own certain function. Even though the body will try everything to compencate the not working bit. So if you don't eat soon you will be fainting, loose fat tissue, then muscle tissue, bone tissue is taken into count at last but by then you are already dieing of starvation unless you know how to eat energies instead of the food..
So very simple example, with sexuality, if you refuse yourself sex at first nothing much happens, but then the energies close by are taken into count to feed on them.. so one may start to me overly active on some hobby or become workaholic or start eating to much high calories and fast carbohydrates to rise the dopamine level in blood to get the feeling of pleasure that will get us fat and that will get us unhappy that we are fat, that will get us selfconcious and that will get us into depression and desperation and noone wants a desperate person even for a little one night stand because desperation smells a long way.. and a smart person knows that one can not help another if the other does not help himself or herself first.. so you will smell desperation and know right away there are problems you will not want to have.. unless you are on a mission to help and know how to do it. 

So, no sex - big mess ...
lots of sex -also big mess:D

Whole process of sex and orgasming is hormonal.. actually everything in the body depends on all sorts of different hormones so if that is out of balance it is considered a serious illness and sometimes it can be hard to balance the hormones again (that is why i never reccommend anyone to take hormonal birthcontrol pills or medicine but do not tell anyone..)
So hormones that are released during the sexual stimulation and orgasm.. why don't we call them with a nickname - happy hormones or HAHA-s. 

So suddenly there is plenty of HAHA and they circle around your body for a while and you feel bliss.. even if there is lot of mess around afterwards.. normally you will not bother and run around with a broomstick right after an orgasm.. you let yourself embrace the enjoyment and float in it to feel high for as long as you can.. 

Or there is a kind that runs to take a shower and scrubs the private parts with a toothbruch or just turnes away and starts snoring as if he needs a insuline shot.. or he vistles and the dog comes wearing an aprine, carrying a tablet with marihuana for the relaxation after sex.. then you know for sure there is something else in unbalance in that ones life but you might not want to get into helping to deal with that kind of unbalances aswell and just run out the door as quickly as you can.. forgetting that you are still naked.. and then the door closes behind you.. and you hear a *ding* sound and the elevator doors open in the hall and your math teacher from 11th grade walks out and says *well, well, my guess was right that you will end up poor and pantyless if you do not start taking math seriously!*

Enough fun though.. the HAHA-s are gone at some point.. And then there is so many things that are actually bothering us and keep us captured in the thoughts. We see movies and we dream our dreams and we get an idea how other sense the sexuality to be and then we project it onto ourselves and think that if this is all done, it gives us the same reaction as in the movies people have it. And we forget that it is ME who is having sex.. not a friend who is bragging about sexlife or a caracter in a movie who is absolutely perfect.. And unless you first have made all detailes clear with your partner about the "sex film" you have created in your head, you are bound to get dissapointed one way or the other.. and both are going to end up hurt somehow.. so it is better to start out by getting to know yourself and think and see what is good for you and then maybe later it will also help to talk with your partner about what feels nice and what not and take turns with "follow the leader" game.. which is a good one even if you have been together long time..

Tell me, if you would be able to remember how you were conceived.. would you want to?
When we call a child into this world, how do we do it?

Do you want to be an accident with a broken condom or a forgotten pill? Or do you want to be the planned child where the mother counted the days when she is ready and then said to the man, "hey just get on with it now, it's time.." and then they try and they try for years and wonder why the baby does not want to come?

Or do you want to be the child who was conceived in presence of love, respect and desire, strong vital force.. we do not think of that much do we?

But the mothers who are having babies are babies from the past.. and children from the past.. so when a child discovers it's body and it's functions there is an interaction.. the tongue feels taste.. it tries to taste everything may it be edible or not it goes into the mouth.. and how do we know the taste of "jucky" things? body has memory in each single cell.. and especially good memory if an emotion is attached to the taste or touch sense.. so if i was to spontaniously say:" oh my, this really tastes like shit!" then how do you think I knew that? So it was remembered by my body-mind.. All other things are remembered also in our subconcious. There is a sience called kinesiology. It is extremely effective in resolving any problems with help of subconciousness. in an hour one can achieve a lot more then regular psychotherapy sessions. So what is there in our subconsciousness? 

Everything.. So when my spouse comes to me and starts to seduce me there are reactions I get in my body.. they may be very different.. 

If your reactions on your partners actions are not very wonderful then it may be that the partner approached you at the wrong time, the hormonale stage of yours is not very responcive, or you are tired, or whatever other reason. But.. it may also be that your body remembers some recordings from the past, from the time when children discover their sensations of sexual organs. It is actually very very early.. even small babies might touch themselves and then they record how it feels and how surroundings are at the time and how everything smells around and what voices there are and if there is a parent around they sense also how the parent reacts on the child. And that is even the most important factor for the child because the father and mother are the most important figures. So how we react on sexual stimulation of any sort goes way back into childhood. It may be for example that somehow there is the feeling, that I want you to want me.. but when it comes to real sexual interaction then this wish fades away or gets a very strong "No" inside. That can also mean that ones cells have a memory of touching of own body, then a feeling of "hmm.. nice" and a feeling of "no" from outside someone was telling to the little boy or girl that it was not good, giving a strong judgement.. Or some other knowing from the later period of childhood when one was told this is not appropriate behaviour, it is bad or dirty. So the child wants to be good and something got supressed or hidden. Some severe cases require even specific attention of proffecional help sometimes. Supressing anything is a bad thing to do. Anything that rises up, should be expressed. In best cases expressed in a safe, respectful and nonharmful way ofcource.. Supression is usually very very patient girl.. but when she finally has had enough she will give a call to her big and very loyal friend Catastrophy. And this guy really knows he's job.. and he might be not respectful nor safe to others around..
I was a very loyal and trustworthy mother and wife and daughter. For 10 years I was doing everything perfectly, my first child was born and 3 months later our neighbour said: "Oh my, I did not even know you already gave birth! Your baby does not cry at all!" Ofcource she did not cry!! I would have been able to walk on my ears if needed to prevent her from crying! She was carried around all the time, slept on my belly for 3 months and never let go of my nipple while sleeping.. that was happening until she was 2 years btw.. This is an extreme case, I know I was nuts.. but nevertheless.. 

Then I discovered how unhealthy it was for my little daughter to breath in the city air and sleep in the noise of the trams going by and eating the food from the stores and we decided to go to live in the countryside. So until that point I had only a little appartement to take care of and clean. I had no babysitter so we could not go out with my husband.. no one was good enough nanny for my little girl.. but now in the countryside where we had 10 hectares of land and no running water and only wood to heat and the toilet was outside in the cold and as much as we heated the house did not get warmer then 14 degrees on the floor.. so we started building.. I did not do that, I only moved my little finger into directions where I wanted something to happen.. like a sink or a toilet or a chimney.. And I had a big garden and doubled it with adding lots of fruit trees and berries and a greenhouse.. and still my daughter still thought she is the most important thing in the world and I still agreed and kept on my very best behaivour. I tried to play the roles I had as perfectly as I could.. and still not having a babysitter or any kind of help available.. For the next baby I was prepearing better.. 2 years actually.. I went on a pilgrimidge and visited holy places of wisdom and we bought a big bathtub so I could have the baby at home, under the stars and not ever go to a doctor. My husband was wiser this time and when the baby was born he took a vacation.. for a whole month.. so now I had to be even more perfect mom and keep everything running smoothly and accordingly to my beliefs how does a good stay at home mom role look like. I started homeschooling earlier already and my daughter spoke english by the time she was 5 and I never realised that there was anything suppressed inside this "wanna be perfect" mother role. So time came and an accident happened. I fell off a bike and hurt myself in the croch so badly that I was not walking for a week. I had time to think because for the first time in my life I was home alone for one night.. my husband had taken the children and gone to my mother 180 km away.. So then I realised how much I had missed this time alone.. and I completely lost my mind.. once I recovered I told my husband that I am not happy with our marriage and our family life and the whole thing and that I am taking a vacation and flying to Mexico and he needs to pay my flight. That was 2 days before the flight.. because there was a seminar in Mexico that took place. Healers of different kind and different counries gathered and showed what they can do - chiropractice, chinese medicine, reiki, different massage therapies. My husband was not happy. He said I was crazy.. I had not been away from kids for more then that one night when they went to my mothers house and now I wanted to fly away for 8 days to the other side of the world.. I said I was absolutely serious and I deserve it after being a slave for the kids and home for 7 years. and he gave me the credit card when he saw there was nothing to do about this nutcase woman. 

I flew out to Mexico.. and healed..
Came back and divorced.

Supression and Catastrophy are best friends.. remember that..
When I started the relationship with my husband at first everything was good.. we even orgasmed at the same time right on the first time we had sex.. but in a few weeks it started to be a bit boring, he did not realy turn me on anymore because I had different needs that needed to be met before I could have sex. But we could not communicate propperly because I felt that if I told him, he might be insulted and he felt something was wrong anyway and he was closing up because he felt he was not good enough. so I even went to sex therapy.. that doctor, a woman told me rightaway to get a new guy... I thought, hmmm what kind of a therapy is that!!? So I did not listen to her.. I tried to figure out how we could still work it out.. because he was handsome and he was exactly how I pictured a man for myself when I wrote it down as a list.. the only thing that did not mach in that list was that one eye was supposed to be different color then the other so I could really recognize the right guy.. but his mother had eyes mismached colors, so I thought.. good enough you know.. besides I had brought lots of money into that relationship and gave it to him to use in the stockmarket and I was living with him and I was not working at the same time and it was all kind of complicated, I was not ready to leave. So he got an offer to move to the capital city and we lived there and at times sex was ok. I took care of my orgasms while he took a long time.. but then we had been together for 3 years already which was my absolute record.. there was one time very good sex.. and very good orgasm and I had not been taking pills for a month and I thought in my mind.. that is how people should make babies.. that is the power and energy suitable for a soul to come.. so I said to that soul, now come, I am ready for you.. And it came.. zap.. but I was far from ready ofcource.. and the first 3 months I was so sick to my stomach and running to the toilet so often that sometimes I didn't even bother to get out the toilet during the night.. so guess how much sex can a pregnant woman have with no strenght to stand up straight.. and then I fell down and I was in hospital because they thought I might loose the baby.. and finally I gave birth and begged everybody who walked into the hospital room to kill me fast, sadly no one did.. And then I had trouble breastfeeding, had high temperature for almost 9 moths because the milk would not come out but also did not stop.. and I did not sleep because the baby was tiny and only wanted to be on my belly. and I had no help from anybody at all and my husband went to work the minute he brought me home from the hospital and came home always at nine or ten. and the thought that I might have sex again some day did not even cross my mind for 2 years.. so this all makes my husband look like a saint because he never went to cheat on me.. and if you ask how do I know then I might tell you what I saw every night in front of tv.. but the point is there are times when sexuality is not important for the woman and then also the man can accordingly channel the energy if they are so connected and monogomous. Some couples are different.. you might think of france.. or islamic countries where it is allowed under certain conditions to have many wifes. And some couples have the father stay home with the babies.. When I travelled with my son to Europe the first stop was Sweden and i discovered that 51 % of the parents who came with children to playgrounds in different areas of Stockholm were actually men. 

The truth is everything in life changes, in the nature the energy that flows is also never the same.. so if you go to bed with the same old stagnant energy, you will get the same old stagnant sex or no sex for that matter..

There are different practices to get your sexual energies to flow when you want it and which way you want. Sometimes a look into somebodies eyes and meditation or touching eachothers chackras is even more enjoyable then just having an orgasm because when you become aware of some new sensations you are thrilled about your own capacity.. 
 
Inside of a feeling everybody is alone.. Another person can watch you haveing feelings and sensations, but everybody experiences their own even if you are a very sensitive person and compassionate, still you can not feel for someone else, but you can give them something to feel about, so just sit back and enjoy the view how your touch creates the scenes wonderful to look at.. 
 
It is good if you actually are interested in watching and experimenting because then you might get an idea what is good, better and what is not at all (assumption is that you are given true feedback.. while the sounds can confuse you, the body should not). You can use this power of knowing how to give the thrill and sensation the way the partner likes it not the way you like it done to you.. That is why it is good to take turns while having sex.. because then two people concentrate on just one.. give or get undevidedly.. feel only own sensations and then later give totally to the otherone.. if you respond to touch with touch.. that can also be good for learning purposes then the partner can show you on your body where he or she likes to be touched at that moment so it is the "follow the leader" type of game. and then they can switch to take turns. Other then that there is a loss of energy when both giving at the same time.. then there is no one receiving completely.. it is like both walk in through a doorway with a huge basket of fruits.. so big that they can not see each other and they try to give the basket to each other but end up dropping everything on the floor and lots of plums get wasted..

Another aspect.. why does it look that some people are addicted to sex.. why does my partner want it more then me.. there are so many different ansvers to that.. ideally ofcource you want to be able to have the same sex drive and it depends how far you are on the road of selfdiscovery with someone. 

What happens while having an orgasm is a total of letting go.. it is absolutely forgetting all else. In that moment one does really not think anything at all.. if you were to think, lets say about the mother-in-law at the same time, it would not happen.. well if the mother is very pretty it might help to get to the point of orgasming.. but the actual orgasm is free of any kinds of thoughts.. that is why it is a total bliss.. like a small enlightment.. for a moment.. that is a good feeling.. and if the person having this orgasm is usually very much in the thought world captured in all sorts of worries and responsibilities and things in the material world then orgasm is the only time she or he gets free from the ruleing of the mind.. ofcource it will be the bliss that is wanted again and again and again..

That is why the enlightened people are not in service of desires .. they are in bliss all the time anyway.. there is nothing that can add anything to the being they are. That does not mean that the enlightened ones don't have sex, they just do not need to be obsessed about anything.. if it happenes it happenes, if not then not, life is bliss anyway.

So people who think they are sexually overly active might want to take a look at other areas of life if there is a great unbalance.

Also too little sexual activity might cause a strong urge to be controlling in other areas of life, may it be the diet, training of the body, accesive drowning in hobbies, alcohol or work.. But to find ones balance is good.. It may be hard to find but then again sometimes it just very close by. "In the case of emergency please follow the lights illuminating the path to the nearest exit. Please note that the closest emergency exit may be behind you."
Also if there is no sex in ones life at the moment, it just may be wise to take it as it comes and put all that energy into something creative rather then into the selfpity or desperation. And then at some point one may discover that the doorway is not the nearest exit but a new "entrance" to another period of life to be thankful for.



SJ821201130
Contributed by: Marleena Verda
City: Tartumaa
Country: Estonia
Date: August 22, 2011